Writer’s block…again

I had a huge breakthrough writing a scene a week ago and now I’m stuck again. I find myself thinking what’s the point? I remember when I was a kid my mind would be bursting with ideas and I’d never question what the purpose of it was. I’d just write as it came to me and i enjoyed it! Now it seems like the stories I write have to have some immediate impact on my life for me to even want to finish it. And that’s what’s holding me back. I don’t delete my work anymore, which is progress. But it’s still difficult to re-assure myself of why I’m writing and why it’s important to do it everyday. It’s pretty late right now but I really don’t want to go to bed without finishing the scene at least. I guess the best advice for myself and others is just to keep going despite how you feel. That saying goes for life and for writing as well.

I read the Alchemist recently and found the message so powerful. The road to fulfillment can be rich with obstacles and you may find yourself in places you didn’t imagine. But there’s always something to learn in every step. Maybe what I need to learn is that the little things you do everyday matter. I try to tell myself that when I wake up and get out of bed, when I eat my breakfast and watch another episode of the Office..when I find myself stuck on a script. I try to visualize myself as a future influencer, philanthropist and screenwriter that’ll have an impact on people’s lives. I tell myself that a lot of successful people started off not knowing exactly what they were doing. It’s a helpful message but is only really helpful if you say it to yourself everyday. And that’s what I plan on doing.

Writing’s my thing but it’s not easy

Graduating college has given me enough time to put all my focus in defeating my writer’s block and creating stories again. Right now I’m working on a paranormal series that will cover self-growth, sexuality, loss, acceptance and healing. I’m truly excited about finishing the series and filming with a couple of people I met at a Janelle Monae pop-up screening in Atlanta! Even though it’s been difficult to be creative, I’ve made connections with people that have helped me realize what is blocking my creativity. And the reality is that I’m afraid. I’ve deleted a lot of my work because I’m afraid that it’s awful, that no one will want to read it. All it’s done is keep me from improving and has kept me stuck for a long time.
So I’m going to do something different. I’m going to keep writing, keep watching youtube videos on how to write better, and give myself time to edit after instead of deleting anything.
My goal for 2019 is to have my first poetry book published. It’s going to cover all the areas in my life I’ve needed to heal from, all the beautiful things I’ve encountered and lessons I’m learning in my life. I fully intend to make this happen. This obviously requires me to know myself and do everything I can to keep myself accountable daily. Graduating and living at home has left me with a lot of time but there’s steps I can do to reverse my un-productive habits and use them in order to both create and grow as a person.